Beginning of Christmas season

The Christmas spirit has definitely made an appearance for me already :)


Last Friday was the Christmas tree decorating competition at church :)


I invited quite a few people but in the end only Shu could make it hehe. But we had fun, it was so entertaining.


The first thing that I noticed when I got there was that Michael(the traitor) was helping the Golden Circle(meaning the senior citizens) with their tree. Traitor.


Anyway at first we were a little irritated cause it was just the Selvaraj's and Deanna. We even contemplated calling it the Selvaraj tree :) It's lame I know but we were focusing our creative energy on decorating :D


So later people started showing up. Keith, Leanne, Bryan and even Michael came along a little later. Shu was LATE ;p Me and Joash went to get her from Masjid Jamek cause giving her directions would have been a nightmare. Oh but inviting her was a brilliant move I have to say. Cause she's never decorated a tree before so she did way more work than me :)


Ok I should probably have been ashamed of that but I'm posting it on my blog :S Ellana, Ellana...


So anyway we had quite an eventful morning at church. We ruined about 5 of the tree lights, then by the time we got the lights up it was already lunchtime :S And the lights wasn't really our fault either cause we tried it inside and it was all fine, but when we tried it outside....kaput :(


Then we put the decorations on without planning anything or colour coordinating. The end result was colourful but, well, confusing. I guess by that time everyone's mind was on lunch which was on the way :)


So basically our tree took the longest to complete (oh I just realised that's not true cause the choir finished their tree later than us). Auntie Jennifer, Michael's mom, had to come and threaten us by saying that if the tree was finished any later than 1.30 we would be disqualified. It later turned out to be an idle threat but it worked on us :) We were running around like jackrabbits after that.


Eventually we got the tree ready. Our theme was red and silver..and there was some pink around. Oh and when we had too much silver stuff Leanne and Joash stole some red flower thingies from the Golden Circle lol.


So for the first time in ages I'm gonna upload some photos. Amazing right? hehe



Michael and sis unravelling tinsel. Yes, with the tinsel wrapped around Michael :)



The tree- A work in progress :)



Our completed pride and joy :) That's Michael hiding behind the tree, Bryan trying to blend in with the wall, and Joash pretending he doesn't have a broom and penyodok in his hand :)



This is the choir's half finished tree. That's it..we ain't gonna win :S



Err we DEFINITELY ain't gonna win? I know this tree doesn't look all that remarkable now, but with the lights on and at a proper camera angle it just looks stunning!


So basically at the end of the day we all had fun and enjoyed thoroughly the Christmas spirit in the air. Ok eew I didn't mean to sound all sappy and as though I just watched 'A Christmas Carol'. But its true anyhow :)


I really felt all happy and enthusiastic and hyper and impatient for the Christmas season to kick off. I suppose me feeling this way means it just did :)


Have a very Happy Christmas Season :)


I'll keep posting on the joys of the holidays, so to speak. LOL

Happy Birthday to meeeee.... :)

Well my birthday turned out to be pretty awesome indeed :)


Yesterday I had soooo much time to waste at uni cause I was so early and our assignment was all finished so there was like a ton of time left to waste :S


But it turned out to be awesome though Shu was acting like freakishly oddly. I soon found out the reason why everyone was acting a little strangely.


I was sitting and talking to Shu and Qades. Or rather they were talking and I was occupying myself otherwise. Suddenly Shu gave a scary smile and Mogan came hopping next to me. To my utter shock a cake was then placed on the table in front of me. Everyone seemed to be enjoying my shocked expression and laughing while I was too busy being stunned to care lol.


It was so sweet of them and I was really touched. After all they have only known me for a little while. So if you guys are reading this, thanks to Shu, Qades, Puvan, Vimal, Mogan and Lavanya for the cake and the celebration. You guys are totally awesome :D


Today was of course the day that went odd but turned out great :)


Well the finalised list of people to show their face was just supposed to be me, Shu and Jasmine. Then Qades called and said he had nothing to do so I asked him to come la. Then only Shu mentioned that the plan was actually for Qades and Vimal to come surprise me at Times Square. Sadly it was not meant to be cause Vimal couldn't make it lol. Then Jasmine pulak couldn't make it at the last minute. And hence, it was me, Shu and Qades.


He came at the right moment lol. We had juuuuuuuuust decided to try on some clothes and he came along when we were in the fitting room hehe.


Anyway we watched New Moon which unfortunately sucked big time. I know, right? I never thought I'd say it either :S


There is simply no reason valid enough to excuse Kristen Stewart's abominable acting :S There was simply no expression whatsoever on her stupid face :@ And even if there was, it was the same stupid expression throughout the movie. She sucks. And yet she gets to make out with not one but TWO impossibly hot guys in the movie. It's so unfair :(


Taylor Lautner looked effing hot though :S I could drool over those abs all day. And that loooook on his faaaace *faints*


Robert Pattinson was awesome as usual but had too much makeup on. Its sad I know. He looked hotter in Twilight. The main attraction of this movie was Jacob oh-so-hunky Black.


Anyway the movie aside, we then went to Nando's for lunch. Omg the amount of time we took just to decide where to go :S I finally had to use the whole I'm the birthday girl let's do what I want crap.


We had an awesome time even without doing much. Qades is just so funny and Shu is just so lame. It's a good combination for entertainment purposes hehe.


When I got home I just took a shower then went out for dinner with my family. We went to KLCC and had our favourite pizza there. We haven't been there in a while :)


Anyway all in all I had a great time. This was a really freakishly cool birthday :) Thanks to everyone who wished me by calling, texting or facebooking. I love you all :)

Uneventful boredom

Even as I type this I'm supposed to be doing my Sun Tzu assignment. I know, I'm such a procrastinator :)


I just feel like blogging suddenly dunno why.


Guess what happened yesterday. Sis like an idiot didnt tell me that Emmanuel was coming over to the house hehe. Oh I just realised I never mentioned Emmanuel before. Oops. He's my sisters boyfriend by the way. Ever since he came back from the UK where he did law for about 8 months, he's been coming over to the house about once a week or so. Only thing is he's only ever seen me at my absolute worst :S


So yesterday was no different. I was sitting in the living room in my super sized t shirt, with my uncombed hair looking like a birdnest and staring at the tv looking so depressed when he came in. Haihh...by then it was too late to do any so called damage control hehe. So he was here the whole day and me and Joash just gave the study room a wide berth for the day :)


Anyway today was my Pengajian Malaysia test and we finally passed up our completed assignment to the lecturer. One down, just Sun Tzu to go. Oh and Academic Writing too which I also haven't started :S


I keep forgetting the point of this post. Hmmmmm........crap what was it that I wanted to say??


Oh yeah.


AARON'S COMING BACK TOMORROW!!! :D :D :D :D :D


I think I probably made him panic a little cause when I was chatting with him just now. It's not my fault I was just too hyper and excited about seeing him tomorrow :) Anyway I'm soooooo looking forward to that. Oh and then Mom's taking me saree shopping for Christmas. Dunno what colour to get this year. Hmmmmmmmm....


I'm really getting into the Christmas mood early this year. Carolling practice must have triggered it :) Its just too exciting. Then there's a Christmas tree decorating competition at church next Friday which sounds like so much fun. I can't wait :) Audrey and Aaron won't be there though :( Hope the rest can make it.


So.....I probably should be getting back to that assignment, huh? Sigh.........


Ok fine I'm going already :S


I'll probably update tomorrow out of joblessness as well :)

Not emo-ing

Someone just told me that I'm being so emo and I was like eeeeeeewwwwww I'm not usually like this. So everyone calm down, this is a normal non-emo post k :)


Oh my impromptu speech was last Monday and I was surprisingly lucky to get the topic of "Which living famous person would you want to meet and why?". Damn!! I know it sounds totally easy but when you have like 3 minutes to prepare your speech your mind tends to go a little haywire. And it was so irritating that the only name circulating in my mind was Cristiano Ronaldo. I almost laughed when that idea came to mind hehe. I mean COME ON that is like the shallowest thing I can come up with. But I couldn't come up with anything else :S


So yeah I spent about 2 minutes telling my class, lecturer and students about how hot Cristiano Ronaldo is. They would have all probably thought I'm some bimbo lol. But oh well, at least they kinda laughed and I didn't stutter hehe. Sudhan said I was ok and Shu didn't give me her what-the-hell-were-you-thinking look so I guess that's a good enough achievement :)


Then the next day was our presentation on "Tamil Movies and its Ultimate Irrationalities". I'm telling you me, Shu and Sudhan had never been that excited about presentations before hehe. Well I suppose it was cause this was a topic close to our hearts (lol yeah right we ridicule tamil movies all the time) and we were the ones who chose it. It was too bad we never had the chance to do this presentation in PJ though. I'm sure it would have been a huge hit lol.


Well I think it went pretty well. or at least that was just me. During our Q and A Mr Selvaraj barely let us speak cause he was so excitedly answering the questions himself hehe. And during the presentation when we were showing a rape video clip and stopped it just when the girl was about to get raped, there was actually people who were disappointed!! Obviously it was mostly the guys lol. That was funny. And during one of our clips of the obscene songs I saw quite a few people(guys of course) with freakishly broad grins on their faces hehe.


I wouldn't be surprised if we managed to convince at least ONE of our classmates to go catch a tamil movie sometime soon :)


Oh Wednesday was cool too. We had a very funny conversation with Puvendran and Edmond from our class. They're like 2 freakishly brilliant students. Its so men-jealous-kan :( But they're just sooooo funny lol.


Today was stupid. I only left UTAR at like 5pm. Was wasting sooooooo much time with QADES in the cafeteria. And before that I slipped back into my habit of playing bingo and nama negeri when I'm clearly too slow for it hehe. Though I'm playing it with new people now and at least am not playing it in class this time :)


Oh and the ACS Charity Night event is moving along pretty smoothly I guess. The fashion show list is almost done though I guess Vimal still needs plenty of convincing about the whole wearing a skirt in the name of Scottish fashion thing hehe. He'll come around I'm sure :) After all a surprising amount of people want him to do it and he couldn't possibly not cave under all that pressure hehe.


The next step would be Puvan and the Orang Asli costume which kinda necessitates some chest flashing lol. He woulnd't mind I'm sure. Just a little worried cause Qades insists he needs some chest hair removed so the girls wouldn't mistake him for a furry animal hehe. Tweezers, meet chest hair ;p


Unfortunately Qades and Mishan are pretty firm set on NOT being able to be in the fashion show. Damn. Cowboy Qades would have been quite a sight to behold hehe.


Anyway I'm supposed to be studying now. Got a Pengajian Malaysia test on Saturday. Its objective, how odd is that? But I refuse to question grace in its truest form here hehe. Oh damn I should ask Anna which chapters to study in the first place :S


Later people. Oh and thanks Benson for making me realise how emo my blog is :)

A shield

I can't believe I gave up without trying. Its just so not me.


I'm sorry its just too scary for me.


Cause I figured something out. It's not that I'm not attracted to nice guys. I am.


The problem is, even if I were, nice guys ain't attracted to me.


I get leftovers, jerks, jackasses.


No offense to anyone, just let me emo.


I'm being divided between two halves of myself. One half says what the hell are you doing sitting on your ass, go for it!!! The other stronger half says that sitting on my ass would be the best thing to do to keep my heart intact. Relatively intact I mean. It's not like its whole now anyway.


Then why do I get this strange feeling about what I'm doing? I feel like I'm doing something WRONG. Which obviously I'm not. Right?


Right?


Or is it just my subconscious trying to make me do what I really want to do?


I wouldn't be surprised. It wouldn't be the first time my subconscious made me decide something that would trigger a horrible avalanche of emotions on me.


Damn.


Why does all this have to be so confusing??


Just give me a straight up hint already.


I'm sick of this.


Someone give me a sign.


Please.

I (Don't) Wanna

At least when my heart was broken I knew what I was doing-I was taking time to heal.


But what then? What about after I heal and am lost and confused about what comes next?


Damn.


Sometimes I think that being the idiot that I sometimes(or most of the time) am, I hold on to the hurt just so I don't have to go through it all again. I don't think the cruel fate is through with me yet. Hence it would just be safer to stay heartbroken and in no mood whatsoever for whatever other forms of pain I haven't quite experienced yet.


Sigh.


I can't even begin to imagine falling again. I've just come to a realisation that it simply never worked out positively for me. Not once. Damn, that's comforting.


Not even once!!!


That's gotta be bad.


I'm rambling and talking nonsense I know.


So what do I do if there is someone? Do I ignore it because I'm scared? Do I take a step forward, AGAIN, only to discover disappointment, AGAIN?


I envy all those lucky souls who don't know what its like to feel this way. If any of you guys are curious about how it feels, don't be. Maybe it'll make me stronger when I'm past it. But now all I feel is a vulnerability which drives me insane.


No one wants to believe themselves vulnerable. That would just suck big time.


I don't wanna be vulnerable. I wanna go back to being strong.


But I can't.


Because amidst this pain I feel a new pain.


Falling for someone while hurting for someone else.

Great.