A shield

I can't believe I gave up without trying. Its just so not me.


I'm sorry its just too scary for me.


Cause I figured something out. It's not that I'm not attracted to nice guys. I am.


The problem is, even if I were, nice guys ain't attracted to me.


I get leftovers, jerks, jackasses.


No offense to anyone, just let me emo.


I'm being divided between two halves of myself. One half says what the hell are you doing sitting on your ass, go for it!!! The other stronger half says that sitting on my ass would be the best thing to do to keep my heart intact. Relatively intact I mean. It's not like its whole now anyway.


Then why do I get this strange feeling about what I'm doing? I feel like I'm doing something WRONG. Which obviously I'm not. Right?


Right?


Or is it just my subconscious trying to make me do what I really want to do?


I wouldn't be surprised. It wouldn't be the first time my subconscious made me decide something that would trigger a horrible avalanche of emotions on me.


Damn.


Why does all this have to be so confusing??


Just give me a straight up hint already.


I'm sick of this.


Someone give me a sign.


Please.