Sad but comforted...

It was just a normal Friday. I was about to yell at Dad for being home so late with lunch when he said those fateful words "Tata's really bad". And when I was unpacking lunch he made the doomed call to Taiping. I was already scared and worried and next thing I knew he was asking if Alice attai was sure that he wasn't breathing. And that's it. In a split second in what had been an absurdly normal day until that moment, I lost my grandfather.


Obviously we rushed back to Taiping about an hour later. Dad was completely not himself and it scared the crap outta me. So on the way to Taiping something totally hilarious happened. There was a jam somewhere on the way after the tunnel and we were stuck there for quite a while. Suddenly Joash said he saw Terrence sithappa's car. We asked how he knew and he was quick to reply that his shiny bald head gave him away hehe. Imagine our surprise when we caught up with them at Taiping and Terrence sithappa said the exact same thing-Keith(my cousin and his son) had seen the car and Terrence sithappa pointed out that he confirmed it was our car when he spotted Dad's shiny bald head as well hehe.


Let me just point out here that I absolutely hate and I really mean HATE funerals. They make me upset and depressed and even if I don't know the person I tend to cry when i see other people cry. And I'm not really fond of crying that much. So just imagine seeing my granddad lying there. Just lying there. And my grandma and aunts and uncles and cousins all around the coffin some crying, some just staring in shocked disbelief. Oddly I found it more comforting to just not look at tata. Cause whenever I did the tears just wouldn't stop.


So anyway we were there for a while and part of the family was already there. Then we went back to my other (maternal) grandma's place for the night cause dad's mom's place was just too freakishly crowded and we probably would have ended up sleeping outside if we had stayed :) Keith and his mom my aunt Sandra followed us there and I ended up being totally unable to sleep and watching The Nanny by myself in the house which was totally blanketed with darkness. Didn't sleep well that night at all. I suppose it was fitting.


And the next day was the funeral.


Our day began just as any day would. Then the all black outfits came on and everywhere there were reminders that a funeral was about to happen that day. Then came the comforting part. Chandra sithappa and his family, including my dear dear cousins Benjy and Christina and my darling aunt Asha all arrived from India. Gosh they've only been gone for like 3 months and we all missed them insanely. Benjy looks a lot like Christina now hehe. His long hair apparently not an issue in his new American school :) Oh and in the morning when I arrived I was surprised to see a new family settling down in the house. Like an idiot I asked sis who those people were. Turns out my long lost aunt Mary had brought her whole family for the funeral. And I haven't seen her since I was a baby by the way. She has children and all, meaning I had cousins I didn't even know about :S


It was such a great feeling when the whole family was there. It felt complete and just right somehow. An extremely dysfunctional family we may be but we're still a family right? Its just sad that it had to happen because of a death in the family. Cause I'm sure tata would have loved to see his family all together like that.


Anyway the funeral was soon after lunch. There was a lot of crying and sniffling. I didn't listen to the sermon much cause I was busy thinking about tata. It was so sad thinking about the past and how great it was and thinking that the future would still be there..but without him. I'd always figured he'd just be there. So the burial was very dramatic la. The Thangasamy clan as usual is either a sitcom or a drama and on that day the full impact of the influence of Tamil cinema showed itself in the behavioural patterns of my family lol.


Sigh......... We left him there at the cemetery literally six feet under. But I was a bit relieved after the burial was over. It always seems to be that way most of the time I wonder why....


Anyway, after that our whole trip was about family time and bonding. I was pretty much constantly with my cousins. The adults were all settling funeral expenses and such. But it was pretty great. My family usually only all gets together at Christmas so it was awesome to see everyone and spend time with them. Cause in case I haven't mentioned this, my family can be extremely fun to hang around with :)


Chandra sithappa was regretting losing my number when he switched his sim card in New Delhi. He usually calls me whenever Man United lose no matter what ungodly hour it is just to heckle me and so that I can yell at him while he laughs :@ So he and Benjy had just watched a match where they lost and he wanted to call me all the way from India but he realised he lost my number hehe. And the biggest family joke now is my weight and lack of a boyfriend apparently ;p Joash was being more of a pest than usual. Maybe being surrounded by people who laugh at his jokes brings on his more-than-a-little-annoying side. And the little devil of the occasion was my cousin Ezra who's about 8 or 9 who irritated the crap out of me and didn't seem to mind when I suffocated or slapped or pretty much generally abused him hehe. Basically I had fun. Hence the title of this post.


I do feel sad that tata is gone. And I'm definitely bummed that I won't be seeing him at Christmas and the way he has that funny way of laughing and so many other memories that suddenly resurfaced at his passing. But I'm greatly comforted by the fact that I'm not alone in my sadness. I have my entire family to turn to and they're all just as sad as I am. And not only that, his death however sad it may be, brought our family and I mean our WHOLE family together again. That's the best feeling ever.


But there's not that much cause for sadness is there? Sure, the physical separation is hard. But its not like I'll never see tata again. Life on Earth is short, and we do our best to make it sweet and memorable. However in the end, its the afterlife that matters. It's what our entire earthly life strives for. And I'll see my tata again...


Rest in peace tata. We'll all miss you terribly and know that you'll be watching us from above..