A Wandering, Wondering Adulthood

So I suddenly felt inspired to write. I have no idea what this post is going to be about yet, so let's see where this goes, shall we?

Anyway, here I am, listening to Thirty Seconds to Mars, which I don't do enough I might add, wondering what randomness I'm about to spew at 10.24pm on a random Tuesday night. I suppose I'll go with what I know.

Does anyone ever feel like even though we're functioning adults, that we should be better at it by now? 

There's always that one appointment you miss that hurts someone's feelings or that one friend who thinks they can't talk to you because my goodness you're a sucky friend or that one deadline you barely met even though you did everything right or that one insult that everyone at that work meeting understood but you or that time you wondered why you don't have friends any more. 

Granted, it doesn't happen all the time. But do you feel like you should have gotten the hang of life a little better compared to when you were 17? Again, granted, a lot more shit happens to you when you're closer to 30 than 20, and being an adult is a lot sometimes. 

I just wish that I could look back and see how far I've come. There's just too much of a tendency to mess something up and then sink into a hole in the ground and think "my goodness I've learned nothing I'm barely a useful human being why didn't I know that why can't I just be good at this adulting thing".

It's a lot. Especially at 10.41pm on a random Tuesday night. 

Wow, how's that for weird topics to blog about, huh? 

Let me leave you with something a little more cheerful than that. Dale Carnegie said, and I quote, "The successful man will profit from his mistakes and try again in a different way." It sounds like he had just studied the definition of insanity, doesn't it? Nevertheless, it remains sound advice and a good thought to take to bed as I ponder a new day and a new beginning. 

I hope everyone reading this has a great day today :)

An Unquestioned Burst of Inspiration

Believe it or not, the lack updates lately has not been for lack of trying. Inspiration has just not been my friend lately, until today that is.

I don't know if this is any good and I haven't even asked for an opinion on it yet, I was just so excited to have written something after so long. So here it is, my attempt at poetry after donkey years of silence.

There is a question
That hangs in the air
Awkward and unspoken
Acknowledged and deeply pondered
Yet weighted by its unanswered-ness.

It is alive with mischief and elusive wiles
Ever changing, never resting, never still
It morphs with every measure of passing time
From greys and browns, to blues and greens
Never quite reaching the glory of reds and golds.

Its depth is close to unfathomable
Its reach speaks in inaudible whispers
Of broken hearts made whole
Of dreams almost within grasp
Of endless possibility behind wondering doubt
Of earthly wonder in everyday miracles
Of contentment and peace, dangling like an almost promise.

Never asked
Always wondered
The reason behind searching, memorising eyes
And the words just beyond the growing lump of a throat
The endless cause of softer than soft smiles and sighs like anchors.

A simple question
And yet, not so simple.